Bezness internship, summer session.

Bezness is a learned skill, and usually, the guys learn it while still little boys, by observing their relatives, brother, cousin, friends or classmates.

So there is a bezness guy that I have known for over 3 years, and he was basically a friend of mine (at least, he was at the time when I wrote the article in french, but then he somehow learnt about my blog and since then he hates me lol).

Well so this particular guy, has learnt everything from his master bezness big brother.

So let me talk about Master Bezness, whom I like to think of as the Olympic Champion of Bezness since, in only 8 months, he managed to get married, get divorced and... get re-married !


His first wife, victim, came to her senses and filed for dirvorce, but Master Bezness had many more women who were ready to commit. So as soon as he was divorced, he asked another one of his girlfriends to marry him, but this time, he maked sure that she got pregnant..

Last time I checked, I learnt that he was now in France...

So now, let's go back to the Bezness baby brother who's more or less my age.

So this one time, we went out clubbing, and as we were entering, he stops :

Bezness : Oh wait, there are women I know, let's invite them with us.

Me : ???

And then he walks towards two women of about 40 years old, one of them was wearing a leopard print garment and the other one, I can't remember.
I was even more shocked when he explained that the women would come with us so they would pay for our drinks ! Oh, ok then..

So then, later in the year, I met again with the Bezness Baby Brother, at the time, he was going out with a german teenager, of about 18 or 19 years old.

And although I try to be understanding and open minded, it was just too much. He let me read a letter that the girl sent to him, it was just so dopey and dripping with love, it made me nauseous.

So the letter was written in english, and it looked more or less like that :

"Darling, I sent you some pillows so you will not feel too lonely at night (oh baby, I assure you that Bezness Baby Brother DOES not feel lonely right now !!), blablabla, I can't wait to show you my country (I love the thought of the Bezness Baby Brother trying to enjoy the cold and humid Berlin)."

The letter was decorated with little hearts and stickers, so ridiculous I can't even say !

So then I asked Bezness Baby Brother : So you love her hugh ?
Bezness : No
Me : Will you marry her ?
Bezness : Maybe, next year, come on I want you so badly..

So there is a french saying that Love makes people blind, and now I am really wondering if it makes them blind or more likely, stupid ?

Stalker !!!

So you remember the Bezness I left at the club without telling him ?
Well, strangely, he does not seem to understandd that I've had enough of him since he's been calling me everyday since then !

Well I usually don't pick up the phone, but this one time, I did, so let me tell you : 

Me - Hello ? (I pretend I have removed his number for my phone, even though it's not true) who is it ?

Bezness - It's XXX !

Me - Ok what can I do for you ? 

Bezness - Why are you talking like that, are you mad at me or something ? 

Me-  I am tired of you calling me, so what do you want from me ?

Bezness - Wanna meet somewhere ?  (Bezness seem to have a short & selective memory)

Me - Nope, not tonight, not tomorrow, not anytime soon and not ever.


Bezness - Oh come on ? What's wrong darling ? I love you, you know that right ? (I wasn't even aware that I was supposed to be in any sort of relationship with him)


I hanged up.


I am done with my testing of this Bezness guy, and I have prooved to all of those who read my blog that those men act proudly but they are probably worth less than a dog's poop. 
So, when I felt tired of him stalking me and his stupid, basic and very cliché flirting, I sent him a text.
This text message was not very nice but at least I hope it was clear enough for him to understand : 


 "real men don't take advantage of women for money, only manwhores do that".


He did not appreciate the text so much, but at least, he understood I did not want to have anything to do with him and he left me alone.

How to GET RID of a stalking Bezness guy ?

So today, you will learn how to finally get rid of those stalking bezness guys.

So I must tell you I used to have a really funny Bezness, well, you know, the kind of Bezness who gives me plenty of things to tell you on the blog !

But well, at times, it is tiring and insulting to understand how Bezness guys feel about us so even I, sometimes loose my temper.

Well this one time we went out at night, AND he did not pay for my drinks.

Well there is a french saying that goes : if you want to reach a woman's heart (or take her home maybe), you need to reach her stomach first.

Well at least he paid for his own drinks, which is not so bad for a start.

Well, if the guy won't help me have fun, why am I even here right ?  So I pretend to have fun, I smile and I try to avoid his stupid gaze, all the while thinking about how to escape from the club unnoticed.
 

And then I'm struck with this superb idea.The Bezness guy goes to the dancefloor and I take advantage of the situation so I discretely escape towards the exit, hop in the car and leave him back at the club.

Of course, my cell was turned off and it was a really nice surprise to find dozens of missed calls from the Bezness who certainly thought I would be his free taxi for the ride home.

Oops :)

Bezness are so CUTE (and naive)

So yesterday, I went out clubbing in a hotel’s disco, and, as usual a few guys tried to flirt with me. 

However, I must admit that I really wasn’t in the mood for playing the Beznessa girl, because I may have had just a tiny little bit too much too drink.

But luckily, this guy, who was an animator of the hotel, came and I am happy that I actually talked with him, so now I have a story to tell you :

So the guy was not handsome at all, well he was not TOO ugly either but still, there he was, trying to kiss me !! And he was not so delicate about it (“oh, come on, kiss me!”).

So then, as I was trying to get rid of him, I asked : ok so what do you have to offer me.

So then he starts to seriously think about it, and while he does that, I escape and go back to my friends.

15 mn or so, after our first conversation, there he is again ! And he looks quite happy and proud of himself, with that face, you know, just like a kid who would have found the rarest Pokemon card to exchange against one of his friend’s snack !

Bezness – I know !! I got a nice white harem pants (sarouel) for you if you like ?!

So, even if I would never had gone back home with him, I still made a quick estimate of the price, maybe 15 dinars, or 20, at the most, very insulting !

So I was planning to be nice tonight but NOW I feel insulted, how could the guy ever think I would sleep with him for a pair of stupid pants ? It reminded me at the souk, when guys try to bargain you for camels !

Bezness guys form hounds

Hey ladies !

So when you read the following story, I am quite sure you will agree with me :
Bezness guys tend to have a very particular social behavior, squeezing 6 guys around a tiny table of a café, wearing half a gallon of cheap cologne and so much hairspray you could hurt yourself if touching their hair.

Nevermind the place, Bezness guys usually hang out in groups, even if his girlfriend has come especially to see him, he will take her out and meet his friends, because it is too scary to have to actually TALK.
Well, this omnivorous mammal species which can be found everywhere on Tunisian coastal regions still remains a little bit.. primitive.

Some of his favorites themes are :
- his work
- his ex girlfriends (he just loves to tell you how much fun he's had before meeting you, but of course it's all in the past now that he has YOU in his life, and how happy he his that he's found you and how could he ever live without you and that he will be forever thankful to his God for meeting you ect ect)

- his family (which seems like an endangered species that can only be saved with Western union)
- his financial problems (his description usually makes us think that Tunisia is at War, devestated by Leper, were people starve to death, and that the whole place needs urgent help)

The other main reason for those large groups of guys is to compete for the horny female (oh wow, you got a good one, she is not THAT ugly, AND she is so naïve she doesn't mind paying for us all).

So this one time, I was at a café and witnessed the following scene :
Two guys with young, very young German girls; maybe 16 years old at the most.
So the girls were trying to look older, as teenagers usually do, so they were wearing so much makeup, they actually looked kind of ridiculous.

Presentation of the characters :
Bezness 1 and 2 are sitting with me
Bezness 1 is one of my lab rats, Bezness 2 is a friend of his.
Bezness 3 is at the next table and goes out with Stupid girl 1, Bezness 4 is at the next table and goes out with Stupid girl 2.

So Bezness 1 at my table, asks Bezness 4 at the table next to us in arabic :
Bezness 1 : So where are they from ?
Bezness 4 : German, or Swiss, not so sure yet
Bezness 1 : ok, so where are they staying
Bezness 3 : Sun Club
Bezness 2 : Are they staying alone ?
Bezness 3 : Yup and they have other girlfriends too and we're going there to meet some of them tomorrow haha

I COULD NOT believe that the guys sitting at MY table, were actually planning where they would next go to find naïve young girls to take advantage of.

Well, of course, the two girls paid for all drinks, including theirs and those of their Prince charming.
However, I thought it was pretty funny that the two Bezness guys took pictures with the german teenagers, and I am pretty sure the girls will be happy to post those pictures on Facebook as soon as they'll get home.

And.. that's the one thing Bezness guys fear :)

Bezness are Masochists

Bezness guys love to be bossed out by girls, and now, I will demonstrate my new theory !

So this one time, I went out to celebrate the end of Ramadan in the city, well as you imagine it was very crowded and I don't like crowds so I'm starting to look for a space to park the car, and, in the end, it turns out, we are quite far away from the place we wanted to go to.

Bezness - Why did you park so far away ?

Me - I wanted to make you walk a little.

Bezness - Oh Ok

Me - Just kidding, I don't want to pay for the parking lot, since I suppose you won't be the one to pay right ?

Bezness - Oh, its only 2 dinars, I'd rather pay myself than walking !

Me - Go f*ck yourself (and then he hugs me, huggghhh ?? what's going on now ?)

Bezness - Is there something wrong honey ?

Me - I'm pissed off, leave me alone

After that, he was the most delicate Bezness I'd ever seen.
So apparently, Bezness really are masochists !

Tunisian Cell Phones should be waterproof

If you have a boyfriend in Tunisia, especially if your boyfriend works in the tourism industry, you may agree with the following statement :

Tunisian cell phones love water and, they tend to enjoy the sea and the swimming pool a lot !

So this one time, I was on the phone with one of my favorite rats (since he always gives me so much fun stories to post on the blog haha)

Bezness - Honey, I know you have 2 cell phones at home, do you mind giving me one, because unfortunately one of the guests from the hotel pushed me into the swimming pool and my cell phone is now broken. (yeah, so how did you manage to call me then ?)

Me - Honey, if I give you my other cell phone, how will I call my other boyfriends ?

Bezness - WHAT ?

Me - So, if you don't have a cell phone right now, how did you manage to call me (I bet that he'll tell me a collegue of his allowed him to use his phone, I already heard that before)

Bezness - Oh, just a collegue, who lended me his phone

Ok so, if you REALLY have a "boyfriend" over there in Tunisia and if he REALLY serves you that bullshit, please note that the story of the collegue is usually made up to excuse the fact that the "boyfriend" can only be reached on his cell number, for 2 hours per day.
This mostly happens during summer when the "boyfriend" obviously has many other tourists to flirt with and does not wish to have his boring and suspicious girlfriend call him all day long.
At times, you would call your "boyfriend" and his colleague would answer the phone, while serving you with the excuse that your "boyfriend" has forgotten his sim card in the phone.
Well, maybe you could ask yourself WHY on earth the nice and friendly colleague would not have put his own sim card in his phone right ?

Only one real reason for that, your boyfriend has a cell phone, however, he switches sim cards whenever he needs to. Most bezness own at least 2 or more sim cards, allowing them to offer different telephone numbers to their girlfriends.

Moreover, if you know the local guys, you must have realized that they simply CANNOT stay away from their phone, either to make and receive calls, or listen to music, so ladies, let me tell you one thing : No Bezness will ever stay more than 48 hours without a phone especially since one can get a used phone for no more than 10 or 15 dinars in case one really needs it !
First price for new phones in specialized stores start at 45 dinars !