English version under construction

Dear ladies,

I have understood that the Beznessa blog has crossed borders and reached countries outside from France, this is why I will now work on translating some of the posts and provide you with an english version of the Beznessa blog.

(just gimme a little time, to translate over a year of study on Tunisian Bezness)

I hope you will enjoy

A nice & Cozy Job

Dear Ladies, 

Today, let me tell you about my official interview with a vampire !

Or rather with a disgusting leech.

Well, a Bezness guy !

So after meeting this guy, I confirm that there is no limit to Bezness imagination in terms of peculiarity...

So we are sitting at a café, and his phone starts ringing.

He quickly looks at the caller ID and decides it is not worth it, so he hangs up.

The phone starts ringing again, about 3 seconds after he hung up. 

So he finally picks up the phone, it must be his girlfriend, because his voice suddenly seems very flirtatious as ge goes "oh baby, I've missed you so much and blablabla", but I guess he does not feel like talking to his girlfriend since he goes "ok honey, I am a little busy right now, I will bip you later ok ? "

When he is done, he takes a sip of his Mint Booga soda and sighs : 

Bezness - oh god, she just won't leave me alone. AND she is greedy as hell, she won't even buy me a fucking perfume.

(I remain silent)

Me - Why would you talk to her that way, I mean, she can't be THAT mean to you.

Bezness - No she is not, but she is sooooo boring AND she won't get married because she is only 19, but, since she keeps coming all the time, I have a hard time meeting the other women.

(He is SO serious, I can't even swallow my drink)

Me -How many "women" do you have

Bezness - Well I don't really keep track, those who come back I consider as my girlfriends, European women.

Me - Well, if I understand, you have other "girlfriends", so why would you keep seeing her if you are so bored and if she is THAT greedy AND won't get married? I don't understand where you are coming from here...

Bezness - Well, one never knows, maybe one day we'll get married. And as for money, I don't need her, money comes from the old women.

Me - How can you feel comfortable with a woman the age of your mother.

Bezness - Please, come on, am I supposed to stay without money or work?

(I guess they don't realize that spending every night at a club and then sleeping until 2 in the afternoon is not compatible with finding a stable and lucrative job.)

So ladies, after months of studying the Bezness guys, I have finally come to the conclusion that if you expect him to "like" you, you must be available, so he can show your text messages to his friends and laugh about it, but more importantly no being TOO available so he feels pressured and still have time to meet other women.

So if you have just come back from Tunisia and are already looking at the flights to go back there ASAP, slow down girl :)

Meet the F*ckers

This is an informative message, which can be useful to any woman in a relationship with a tunisian guy whom she suspects to be a Bezness?

One of the technics they use to make us trust them is to meet the family.

You know, in our European countries, even though we tend to be less conservative, meeting the family remains a symbol of commitment into a relationship.
So then, when we think of the ultra-conservative arab culture, we are more than honored when our luscious boyfriend takes us to meet his family.

And we should be right, because Tunisian guys are not supposed to bring his girlfriend home unless he plans to marry her.
However, rememeber Bezness guys don't really play by the rules, nor do they pay much attention to cultural and traditional beliefs, as long as the "gazelle" can pay, he is willing to take her home.

Most of the time, the family acknowledges this behavior since the "Gazelle" will provide the family with presents, money or even a visa for their son.

So there are different scenarios :

(1) Scenario n° 1 : Modern Man

This guy will not hesitate to take you home to meet his family.
Why is that ?
Because he wants you to believe that he is open to occidental culture.
Well before believing any crap that comes out of the guy's mouth, please remember that Tunisia is a conservative country in regards to relationships, and this is even more true in the Southern regions.
Tunisian families pay a lot of attention to what "people think". Should it be their neighbors, or other members of the family.
Therefore, it is not recommanded that Tunisian guys should have a non Muslim girlfriend.

If your Tunisian Boyfriend invites you to meet the family quickly, (less than a year after the beginning of the reltionship), I advise you to run for your life, and more importantly for your bank account.

(2) Scenario n°2 : The shy guy, really ? 

The fake shy guy will not take you home immediately, he will wait for 4-6 months.
Either because he really fears the reaction of his parents, but more importantly because he wants you to trust that he is not applying scenario n°1, which is easilly recognizable, and supiscious behavior.

However, in the event that your boyfriend is a Bezness, in both scenarios, the first encounter with the family will probably look like this : 

- Don't expect to leave the house without tasting the homemade couscous and mint tea with your boyfriend's mom and sisters..

- The aforementionned mom and sisters will probably look at you like you were the incarnation of the Earth Goddess (but they will talk among themselves in arab so you won't understand, and laugh about your looks or compare you to the other naive girlfriends who sat there before you). 

- It is usually the mother or the older sister, depending on who knows your language best, who will ask you what you do in life, if you have a job, where you live etc..

This does not mean that they are interested in you or in your life, however, please consider the image of you being the (cash) cow and the mother or the sister, being the farmer, evaluating your potential for the family's well being. 

In other words, if you are a good investment or not.

You will probably not meet the dad during those lunches, he probably stays in a different room, watching TV, since he doesn't really care about you or your presence.
Maybe when you start sending Western Union, he will make the effort to come and talk to you..

In conclusion , please, ladies, stop thinking that you are so irreplaceable, and please start to realize that in many cases, you are no more than an investment to help a whole family earn a better life.

Totally blond !

I have realized something: Bezness are totally blond.


Since I first wrote this article last year, let me tell you about what happened this one time when I decided to meet one of my Bezness friends at a club.
Well first, you must know that I prefer meeting people AT the club rather than going there together since, the second option makes it a date, and I am therefore expected to stay around the guy even though I am not that interested.


On the contrary, meeting the guy at the club makes it a fun night between friends, and it is much easier to manage getting out of any situation.

So I told the guy to meet me at the club right? 
OMG the guy just WON'T understand, he keeps texting me things such as : "they won't let me in..."

So I answer: just call me when you get there, and they'll let you in.

He doesn't seem to understand properly since he texted me over 10 times the same thing...

or maybe he expects a date with me hahah.

Tango Dance

I met a guy last year (2009), and I had his telephone number. Of course, I never gave him mine. So then I totally forgot about him, I bet he forgot about me too. But yesterday, I got very bored so I decided to call bip him.
He calls me back...


Him - Hello ? Who is it ? 
Me - Its [....]
Him - Ohhhhhhhhhh how are YOU ? (yeah right, I never even told him my name ! Well if he starts off like that, it should be an interesting phonecall...)
Me - So you remember me hugh? 
Him - Of course !
Me - Ok, so tell me, how did we meet then ?
Him - Hum... so what's your name again ? 

[I hang up]

So I sent him a text message, in which I pretend that something happened between us (in reality, nothing happened).

"I'm so sad that you don't remember me, I wanted to have a little fun tonight"

So of course the man-whore calls me right away..

Not only do I not pick up the phone, but I also turned if off, because, everyone knows that the woman-who-tells-you-the-person-you-are-trying-to-reach-is-unavailable-at-the-moment's voice is the most irritating.

Since then, he has not stopped calling me, a real tango dance, I go one step closer to you, and two steps away, and you, cute little Bezness, you do exactly what I want you to do.

Oh my God, he got me !

So this one time, I got a call from a Bezness guy I know, apparently, he wanted to see me.

But before I tell you the full story, I must remind you of one thing that hapened to me last week.
So do you remember the guy that I left alone in a club without telling him I left ?
Well last time I saw him, he did the exact same thing to me !! And I had to pay for his drinks, about 5 dinars, all right, we're even now.

So ok let's go back to the phonecall I got :

Bezness -  So you want to go out tonight ? (translation : wanna have sex tonight?)

Me - Aren't you working these days ? (I remember he lost his job recently, and if he is not working, he probably expects me to pay tonight)

Bezness - Oh no I'm not working at the moment, I needed a holiday (a 2 month and a half holiday more precisely)

So I start to understand his scheming, and frankly, I am not ready to be the naive tourist tonight.

Me - Come on darling, how do you expect to pay for my drinks if you don't have a job at the moment ? 

(Awkward moment ...)

Me - Ok well I gotta go, ttalk to you soon !

Too late, he hung up already ...

Well too bad because now I don't have plans for tonight, but still, it is always better to make those things clear since the beginning with Bezness guys, or else, every night out may cost you a lot !

Make your Bezness go Crazy !

The strenght of the Bezness resides in his ability to mess up women's feelings by alternatively playing the role of the romantic lover, followed by the unreachable lover.

Romantic lovers because they can't get enough of saying "I love you" among all the other romantic phrases those guys are familiar with.

And then, the unreachable lover, litterally, I mean, the one that can NEVER be reached, his phone is turned off, or else he seems too busy etc..

Of course, there is no one and only scheme for those strange relationships, however, there is one golden rule to observe for all : the guy makes himself indispensable, by creating a strong dependancy from his victim.

Have you never heard or even thought yourself the following : 

"I can't live without him anymore, I NEED to find some kind of job in Tunisia so I can live by his side forever after..."

Ok, maybe, let's forget about the forever after part, but still ..

So now, you're all wondering how on earth do I interact with those Bezness guys and not fall in love with any of them right ? 


Well first, if I may give you my own, personal opinion on that matter, I would tend to say that it is very likely that couples with so many differences may even work on the long term.
The distance, the religion, culture, education and, last but not least, the constant temptation for them, with busloads of sexy creatures landing in Djerba every week.


I mean, sorry ladies, but any adult knows that sex, (yeah well, that's what it's called right?), is a considerable input to the relationship, so let me remind you all that most women that start those risky relationships tend to come every 2 or 3 month at the most, and sometimes less than that....

... so how can anyone even expect his companion to wait for whole months, and be faithful when you are not even there to satisfy his most basic needs ? 

So in my opinion, one needs to be either particularly naive or else masochist to start that kind or relationship. 
Maybe not masochist after all, maybe the right word would be : partner-swapper.

So as for me, I don't even try to listen to anything a Bezness guy tries to tell me, in my opinion, any and every word that comes out of his mouth is a simple lie.

ex: 
- you are so beautiful 
(He probably told that same phrase to a woman who could've been your grandmother the day before)



- I used to have a great car but I had to sell it so I could invest my money 
(Yeah right, so why the hell do you need to borrow cigarettes for me ?).


etc...


If you want to take it to the next level, and REALLY make them go crazy, you need to show them you don't give a damn about them. 

You must be indifferent to them, unavailable, don't pick up the phone when he calls, and most of all, never call back when he sends you a BIP.
Don't worry, if it is THAT important that he needs to talk to you right away, he'll call back and even put some money in his phone if necessary.


Never show your feelings on the phone, I know, it may be hard to do, especially if you have not seen him for a long time, but you need to act curtly if you expect him to need you.


Let HIM pay.
Well maybe NOT all the times, or else, YOU will now become the Beznessa, but still, since when do women have to take financial care of men ?

Oh, and never forget the following : 

It is NOT because you own more money, 

that you are required to pay.